Monday, December 28, 2009

hell no i did not leave the south side for this!


Voldemort: Let me tell you something about Dumbledore. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first girlfriend Bellatrix who was totally gorgeous but then she moved to Indiana, and Dumbledore was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Bellatrix, he’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-boys pool party, I was like, “Dumbledore, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a homo.” I mean I couldn’t have a homo at my party. There were gonna be boys there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? He was a HOMO. So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him, and he came back in the fall for high school, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he’s on crack.

Urban Dictionary definition
Glen Coco - A teenage boy who either has many friends or has a very deep relationship with himself. He recieved 4 mysterious candy canes during the holiday season and has yet to inform us all who they are from.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

how you doin?


Ross: I can't wait to play with you all day, and to hear your first words.
Phoebe: Why are you letting him talk to your crotch that way?
Rachel: He's talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Oh, that's good. Because when I heard, "I can't wait to hear your first words" I thought, "Boy that's some trick!"

Monica: My motto is get out before they go down.
Joey: That is so not my motto.

Chandler: You wanna tell secrets? Okay. In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers.
Ross: All right. Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won.
Chandler: Ross came in fourth and cried.
Ross: Chandler got drunk one night and slept with the woman who cleaned our dorm.
Chandler: That was you.
Ross: Whatever dude. You kissed a guy.

Phoebe: Ok, I got an idea. If it's a girl, Phoebe, naturally. And, if it's a boy... Phoebo.
Ross: Uhh... Sure, but let's not limit ourselves to just one name.
Rachel: Ok, I got one. If it's a girl... Sandrine. It's French.
Ross: That's a great name... for an industrial solvent.
Rachel: Ok, you got a better one?
Ross: Yeah, check this out. If it's a boy - Darwin.
Rachel: Yes, Ross, I do want a son who'll be regularly beaten in the schoolyard.
Phoebe: By Sandrine.

Phoebe: A plate of brownies once told me a Limerick.
Chandler: Let me ask you, Phoebe: were these "funny brownies"?
Phoebe: Not particularly. Although I do think they had pot in them.

Phoebe: They're coming. Run!
Joey: Where?
Phoebe: Mexico!
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get you?
Chandler: It's an electric drill! You get me, you kill me!

Ross: Oh my God! Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?
Rachel: I got off the plane

Rachel: How about for a girl, Rain?
Ross: Rain? "Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln and my dress is made out of wheat."
Phoebe: I know her!

Joey: Some girl ate Monica!!!
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds. "
Chandler: so how many cameras are actually on you?

Now for some of my favourite moments...
This video is from "The One With The Unagi". After Pheobe and Rachel attend a self-defence class, Ross tries to persuade them they would be better off learning 'Unagi'.

In this episode, "The One With The Truth about London", Rachel teachs Ben practical jokes, much to Ross' dismay. This is how Ross gets his revenge.